Letters
by Harahettabacasaru
Summary: Fan Mail of fan girls to the SAIYUKI IKKOU! Please review...Oh yes and there might be some yaoi
1. Letters part 1

**Harahettabacasaru: Well… I got this idea from a friend and well… she let me use it haha**

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Gojyo and Hakkai sat on the couch of the inn while Sanzo stayed on a stool reading the paper. Goku, of course was busy looking for food in the fridge. 

"Hakkai! No food!" Goku screamed as he stared at Hakkai with his jaw down.

Hakkai stared in the fridge "well…seems like well have to go get some!" He said as he grinned widely.

"Come one Gojyo!" Hakkai said as he marched out of the door and dragged Gojyo with him

"Hey What!—"

The door shut.

"Hmph." Sanzo said as he stared down at the paper.

Goku rolled on the floor moaning "food"

"Would you shut—"Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Goku quickly stood up and opened the door. There was a guy reading a paper

"Uhm…letters for the Sanzo ikkou…" He said "Sign here"

Goku blinked twice then signed. He carried the huge sack of mail to Sanzo.

"What's this?" Sanzo asked looking irritated

Goku read the label on the sack. "Fan mail" he replied grinning

Sanzo twitched "F-fan…mail…from f-fan girls?" He stammered

Goku pulled out an envelope "Yup…"

"Ill be in my room" he said as he stood up and headed for his room

"Don't you want to—"

The door shut.

"Read you're mail…" Goku said to himself as he pulled out an envelope and sat down.

**Dear Goku-Kun**

**I love you! I mean, you are so cool and most especially…hott! Kiss me! Kiss me! I LOVE YOU! JUST LOVE YOU!**

**Reena **

Goku twitched at the word "Goku-kun" then shook it of.

_She has a serious problem…_

He crumpled the paper nice and round then tossed it in the trash can.

He smiled then pulled another letter out from the sack.

**Dear Hakkai-Kun**

**Hey! I really like you! I mean… I love you. I can't help but think about you! I make fics about you…always! You make me pee in my pants when I see you!**

**Kinky Girl**

Goku stared at the letter "Oops" he said "This isn't mine…"

_What a weirdo…she has an even more serious problem than the other girl…_

He held in the laughter as he stared down on the part where she said she pees in her pants when she sees him. He suddenly jerked up and looked around checking if anyone was looking at him reading Hakkai's letters. "He'll surely kill me…" he said to himself

He pulled another letter out

**Dearest Sanzy-chan**

_Jeez… this isn't mine but… oh well_

**I just love you! You and your gun there look so SEXY…**

_Oh gross…better not read…_

Goku threw it back in the sack as he pulled another out.

**Dear GOKU**

**I'll be watching you…**

**ANONEEMUUS**

_Anoneemus?...Eep…scary…_

He threw it in the trash can and look around…

_Is he…he…er…or she really watching me?_

He shrugged as he put his nyoi-bou beside him just in case.

He got another.

**Dear Goku-Kun**

**Will you go out with me?**

**Love, Kyii**

_No…_

He pulled out another

**Dear Goku-Kun**

**Will you go out with me?**

**Love, Kyii**

_What the?_

**Dear Goku-Kun**

**Will you go out with me?**

**Love, Kyii**

_NO! DAMNIT!_

He stared at the sack of letters. He hesitatingly pulled out another

**Goku,**

_At last! IT'S NOT THAT ANNOYING, WEIRDO, CRAZY WANNA-GO-OUT-WITH-ME FREAK!_

**Hey Monkey!**

**Not much love, Gojyo**

Goku's eyes widened as he stared at the paper…

_It isn't the Wanna-go-out-with-me-freak_

…_But the perverted kappa!_

He shook his head in disbelief as he quickly ripped the paper apart and dumped it in the trash can.

"Glad that's over…" he said as he smiled then looked back at the sack, then he heard a voice…

_Life is like a sack of fan mails… you wont know who's mail you're gonna get_

Goku arched a brow "What the heck?" he asked himself the shook it off.

"Now…" he said as he pulled another letter out from the sack

**Dear Goku-KUNzie!**

**I love you. You love me. Were a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you! Won't you say you love me too?**

**Love, Barney**

Goku twitched. "Why doesn't anything make sense anymore?" he asked himself as he crumpled the paper and threw it.

Goku took another letter.

**Goku,**

**Do you like food? Because I like food. Im hungry almost everyday! I like all kinds of food! Do you? What's your name again?**

**10 second Tina**

_Er…yeah I like food… and who cares about you!_

Goku shook his head "She forgot my name!" he asked himself as he looked back at the letter. He quickly crumpled it after scanning the paper.

**Dearest Sanzy-nee-chan,**

**Roses are red, Dirt is brown, Please be my valentine, Or else I'll frown. Love **

**PipoMan**

Goku looked down at the paper "But isn't it past valentine?" he asked himself

He stared at the name "PipoMan?" he tried to hold in his laughter but failed

He was left on the floor laughing and screaming out PipoMan for the rest of the afternoon

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**Letters part DOS will come up soon! Please review and thank you for reading!**


	2. Letters part 2

**Harahettabacasaru: Im back for more letters!**

* * *

Surprisingly, Sanzo didn't come out of his room after all the "PipoMan" screaming.

Goku had _finally _stopped laughing _and_ stared at the sack. "When will Hakkai and Gojyo come back? Im starving! Plus… some of these crazy fan girl letters are theirs!" he said to himself

_Okay… these letters are making me talk to myself…that…is not normal_

He shook it off and pulled out another letter.

**Dear Gojyo-Kun,**

_At last! The kappa has one! The kappa…actually has one…_

**I love the hair! Who's your hair stylist? I would love to make him do my hair! So…call me, babe!**

**Love, Obsessed with Gojyo-Kun's hair**

_I'll leave this…looks like girls are fishing fashion tips from Gojyo!_

He snickered at the thought as he pulled out another.

**Dear Goku-Kun**

**Will you go out with me?**

**Love, Kyii**

_NOOOOOOO! _

Goku quickly crumpled the piece of paper and began whacking it with his nyoi-bou.

He stood straight after whacking the paper silly "ahem…okay…" he said as he threw it in the trash can and walked back to where he sat.

**Dear Sanzo,**

**May we borrow the golden credit card?**

**Kougaiji**

_Why the hell? Never mind. BURN IN HELL KOUGAIJI!_

Goku laughed evilly at the thought. He looked around "Okay, no one heard me." He said as he gave out a smile of satisfaction. He wanted to rip the letter in pieces but then Sanzo would know he had been reading their mail.

He shrugged and put the letter back in the sack.

**Dear Goku-Kun,**

**Hi…**

**Kairi**

_Er…Hi? Im not sure what to think of this letter._

He threw it.

_I don't think ill EVER reply to one of these crazy letters._

He sighed as he got another letter.

**Goku,**

**SMELL MY SOCKS! KISS MY BARNEY DOLL! EAT MY FOOT!**

**Crazy Drunk Guy**

_Hah? What the! What's up with Barney, socks and feet! _

He ripped it up and threw it.

**Dear Gokeeneeweepee,**

**NEE! WEE! PEE!**

**Neeeeji**

_I wonder…if I'll ever get a letter that makes sense…_

He stared down on his name on the letter. "Gokeeneeweepee?" he asked himself as he scratched his head.

_People are so weird…_

He threw the letter away.

**Dear Sanzo,**

**PLEASE! I WANT THE GOLDEN CREDIT CARD! ITS SHIIIINNNYYYY!**

**Kougaiji**

_I don't think…Kougaiji wrote this…LIRIN!_

He sighed as he threw it away too.

**Dear Goku,**

**MAMA!**

**Kimmeh**

_Mama?_

He stared at the paper

POOF!

It's gone.

_This is a very random day…_

**Dear Goku,**

**Do you like Gojyo? If not how about Sanzo? Hakkai? Me?**

**Pick Me**

_I wont pick you! I'd rather pick Sanzo!_

He paused at the thought "What the heck was I thinking!" he said as he shook his head madly.

**Dear Goku,**

**YOU LOVE SANZO! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!**

**Eepie**

_People have really weird names…and no…I do not…er…yeah…I don't!_

Confused and tired of thinking he threw the paper.

**Dear Goku,**

**Do you eat kidney? If you do… eat mine please!**

**Tamaya Kiyamoto**

_Ew…No! I do NOT eat kidneys…Well…maybe if I was really hungry I would…But it better be cooked!_

**Gojyo,**

**Hey! Why'd you leave me at the bar last night! We were having so much fun! Com back! Come BACK I SAY! Let's make loooove tonight like last night. You have such a hot bod! I love you style! Your so tight baby! I wanna---**

**Fun gal**

_I am not reading that…too detailed…AND WAIT TILL SANZO HEARS ABOUT THIS!_

Goku snickered again as he grabbed another letter.

He read the title.

**PLAYBOY**

_Obviously…this is Gojyo's…_

He grabbed another since he didn't want his young innocent mind to be damaged by the perversion of the world.

**Oy Gojyo,**

**What's up homie! I gotta give you props for last night dude. Man you got that girl banged up good! You are off the hinges! No wonder people love to hang with you! Do me a solid and come with us today! We goin down to the bar, dude! You don't wanna miss that do you? Peace and im out!**

**Home boy**

_I…cannot believe…what Gojyo does when were not watching over him…AND CAN HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THIS? I mean… I only understood 2/3 of what he wrote there!_

He tossed it back in the sack.

**Goku,**

_At last...mine…wait…mines always freaking crazy!_

**I hate you…**

**Hatare Miroku**

_Your loss…_

**Goku,**

**Your so hott dude! IM GOIN GAGA OVAH YOU!**

**Ayzee**

_Gaga? This is going crazier and crazier!_

Goku sighed as he decided to rest for a while…from all the craziness I mean

* * *

**Harahettabacasaru: Im on to the 3rd chappie!**


	3. Letters part 3

**Harahettabacasaru: And were back with more letters!**

Goku started falling asleep on the floor.

Sanzo walked out of his room to check on Goku. But the sack of fan mails caught his eye.

"I'll just take a look…" he said to himself as he dumped Goku on the couch and sat down.

**Dear Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo and Goku (especially Hakkai):**

To Hakkai: You are really nice...and polite  
To Sanzo: Marry my best friend!  
To Gojyo: PERV!  


**Love, Ruri**

**By the way, if you're asking what happened to Goku, meatballs are sealed inside**

He stared at the letter.

_Sorry...I can't marry your best friend._

He scanned the letter one more time then put it on a table. He grabbed the food and put it in the refrigerator then walked back to his seat.

**Dear Saiyuki Boys,**

**You are all GAY!**

**Pammy**

He twitched.

_We are NOT!_

He crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash can then pulled another letter out of the sack.

**Dear Sanzo,**

**I dare you… TO KISS GOKU!**

**Jira**

_BLUEH! NO. I will never kiss that stinky monkey._

Just then he felt something. It was a video camera.

"What the?" he said to himself as he saw a little red light

_Its recording?_

He threw the camera along with the letter and sighed.

_I swear I will burn those letters…_

"Damn you Hakkai…I didn't want to go!" Gojyo screamed as they entered the room.

Hakkai laughed "Well…you already went with me—"

"Hey Sanzo what's that?" Gojyo asked as he dropped the bags on Hakkai's foot ("Ouch!") then walked to Sanzo.

"Fan mail…" he said

"Ooh…fan girls?" He asked. Sanzo nodded. I'll leave this annoying sack with you." He said as he carried Goku to his room then shut the door behind him.

Hakkai glared at Gojyo. Gojyo shrugged "What?"

Hakkai sighed as he walked to him.

"Lets see…" he said as he looked at one letter.

**Dear Hakkai,**

**Imma little tea pot short and stout! Here is my handle and here is my spout! When the waters boiling hear me SHOUT!—**

"Lets not read that…" said Hakkai as he crumpled it then threw it.

Gojyo laughed "Little teapot?"

Hakkai shrugged. "I don't know…"

They got another.

**Dear Goku,**

**Hey! Whats up? How ya doin? I have a pork bun store down town! Wanna come? Meet me there Kay?**

**Kira**

_We better not show this to the monkey _Gojyo thought.

"Hide this!" Hakkai said as he gave it to Gojyo.

"Alright, alright…we don't want the monkey to go crazy over a pork bun store" he said as he threw it.

**Dear Gojyo,**

**Hey, Sexy! Wanna club with me and my girls tonight? Im inviting you! Please Gojyo-Kun? My number is 09287564372! Call me!**

**Lady Maui**

Hakkai turned to look at Gojyo "Gojyo?" he asked not seeing him there. He turned around finding Gojyo holding the phone.

Hakkai laughed "Put that phone down and come here!" he said still laughing.

**Dear Sanzo-Kun,**

**I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.**

**Katana**

Gojyo rolled his eyes. And thought _Alright…alright! We get it!_

Hakkai arched an eyebrow at the letter. "Uh?" Gojyo Grabbed another.

**Dear Hakkai,**

**Hi. This is Yaone—**

Hakkai snatched it away from Gojyo "Er…this is mine" he smiled as he secretly read it.

"Whatever." Gojyo said as he rolled his eyes and smirked.


	4. Letters part 4

**Thank you to my reviewers and all the people who liked this story! Yeah, I kind of got lazy to make this chapter but…anything for you guys. Im so nice…I was joking! Alright! Onto the story!**

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"That's it! Im done with these crazy things!" screamed Gojyo. "I'm also tired! Because of you!" he pointed to Hakkai.

"Now, now Gojyo…"

"Im going…to sleep!" He snapped as he walked into his room.

Hakkai sighed. "Oh Gojyo" he said to himself as he walked in the room where Gojyo is

All Gojyo's screaming...woke Goku up.

"Sanzo!" Goku said as he shot up from the bed.

"Hm?" Sanzo's head turned to the direction of Goku.

"Want to read the fan mails together?" he asked smiling as he cocked his head to one side.

'What the hell?' Sanzo thought as he arched a brow.

"Uh…whatever." He replied.

"Yay!" Goku jumped off of the bed and dragged the sack into their room.

"Now!" Goku said pulling a letter out.

**Deeaaarrreessst Goku-kun,**

**Hi! Ni Chan is getting annoying! Can you tell Sanzie there to give up the sutra! I'll be waiting for ya!...I mean…it. Thanks!**

**Lirin**

Goku stared at the paper then looked up at Sanzo.

"Oy, Lirin and her brother wants the sutra…here." Goku said emotionlessly as he tossed it to Sanzo. Sanzo read the letter "Eh…what makes her think im giving it to Kougaiji?"

"Beats me." Goku pulled another letter out.

"Hey! Sanzo its for you."

"Read it monkey"

Goku sighed

**Sanzo,**

He read.

**I pity you. I don't know what else to say but I used to like you, I always wished you would die for no reason. NYAHA!**

**Your ex-fangirl**

**A Very Sane Psychotic Author**

Goku raised a brow on this letter. "Well…heres one pretty normal…Er…except for the wanting you to die thing." Said Goku looking up at Sanzo sitting on his bed

"You got that right." Sanzo sighed.

"Heres one." Goku got another.

**Goku and Sanzo,**

**I am a fortune teller, after the journey, Goku's baby will be a girl…**

**Love, Nataku**

**P.S.: I have also predicted that Goku wanted to kiss you.**

"GOKU!" Sanzo twitched.

"Er…No! That Nataku person is lying!" He said as he shook his head furiously.

He swapped the paper away from Goku.

"Don't ever want to do that again or I'll kill you." Said Sanzo as he stared at the paper than Goku.

"But—"

"Next letter."

Sanzo grabbed one from the sack.

**To my Sanzo,**

**Pretty! I am so pretty! Pretty! I am the prettiest girl in the world! Pretty! Pretty! Pretty! Pretty! Pretty!—**

"I don't even want to know who this is from." Sanzo said as he shot the paper. "annoying." Me mumbled as he stared at Goku.

"Okay…" Goku said as he pulled another one.

**Dearest Hakkai,**

**Are you gay? Im guessing you are gay. I read in a fan fic that you were going to get married to Yaone…and your friends confessed that they thought you were gay. Oh well see ya gay man!**

**Kari**

"Hakkai isn't gay!" Goku said.

"I know that." Sanzo shot the paper again.

"Sanzo. PLEASE DON'T SHOOT THINGS THAT IM STILL HOLDING!" Goku screamed.

"Don't scream at me monkey or you won't be holding anything anymore!"

Goku gulped…"Sorry." He said as he chuckled and scratched his head.

* * *

**Sorry! Im pretty mind blocked today. Any ideas? You could share it with me. And you can make more letters!**


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